Can you have sex during Ramadan?

In a Nutshell: Sexual intercourse is strictly prohibited during the fasting hours for those who are physically and mentally able to fast. After breaking the fast in the evening and prior to the pre-dawn meal, married couples may engage in sexual relations. Introduction Ramadan stands as one of the central pillars of Islam, observed by Muslims worldwide. This holy month holds a period of intense spiritual devotion, characterized by abstinence from food, drink, and sexual intimacy from dawn to dusk. Sexual relations, seen as a source of physical and emotional fulfillment, raise the question: Is it permissible to have sex during Ramadan? This question delves into the nuanced interplay between spirituality, bodily urges, and marital rights within the Islamic framework. Let's examine the evidences, opinions of scholars, and associated discussions. Evidences The Qur'an “It has been made permissible for you the night preceding fasting to go to your wives [for sexual relations]. They are clothing for you and you are clothing for them. Allah knows that you used to deceive yourselves, so He accepted your repentance and forgave you. So now, have relations with them and seek that which Allah has decreed for you. And eat and drink until the white thread of dawn becomes distinct to you from the black thread [of night]. Then complete the fast until the sunset...” (Qur'an 2:187) “O you who have believed, decreed upon you is fasting as it was decreed upon those before you that you may become righteous ...” (Qur'an 2:183) “The fasts are meant only for a specified number of days; but in any event, if anyone from among you is either ailing or on a journey, let him make up another number of days. For those, however, who find it too hard to fast, a redemption becomes binding by providing a needy person with food.” (Qur'an 2:184) The Hadith The Prophet (pbuh) said: “When Ramadan comes, the gates of Paradise are opened, the gates of Hellfire are closed, and the devils are chained up.” (Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim) The Prophet (pbuh) said: "Whoever does not give up false speech and acting upon it, Allah has no need of his giving up his food and drink." (Sahih al-Bukhari) The Prophet (pbuh) said: "Verily, Allah, may He be exalted, says: 'Every deed of the son of Adam is for him except fasting; it is for Me and I shall reward for it."" (Sahih al-Bukhari) Sayings of the Companions Aisha (ra), the wife of the Prophet (pbuh), said: "The Prophet (pbuh) used to kiss and embrace [his wives] while he was fasting, for he had the most control over his desires." (Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim) Umar ibn al-Khattab (ra) said: "One night, I came home during Ramadan and approached my wife (for intimacy). She repelled me because I was fasting. So I turned away to make it up to her later. Yet when I was in a rush on a cold night, I returned to her only to find she had fallen asleep. Then I turned away for her own sake. (When it got late), I ate dinner and prayed Fajr." (Collected by Abd al-Razzaq al-San'ani and others) Traditional Scholarly Quotes Imam Al-Nawawi (d. 676 AH): "A man may kiss his wife during Ramadan even if he knows that the kiss stimulates him sexually, if he finds it unlikely to bring about ejaculation.” Imam Ibn Qudamah (d. 620 AH): "Engaging in intimacy during the day after the Fajr prayer, or shortly before Maghrib to the degree that there is no opportunity to perform ritual purification (ghusl) before Maghrib, is forbidden; this renders the fast invalid." Imam Al-Shafi'i (d. 204 AH): "There is nothing against a man and his wife having intimate relations, as long as they both maintain physical purity by performing the rites of ghusl before Fajr; after which, both man and his wife fast normally." Sex during Ramadan The evidences presented illuminate a clear framework with specific stipulations regarding sexual intercourse during Ramadan. The Qur'an explicitly permits intimacy after breaking the fast in the evening and prior to the pre-dawn meal. This allowance underscores the recognition of marital rights and highlights the significance placed on preserving marital bonds within Islam. However, abstaining from sexual relations during the fasting hours serves a greater spiritual purpose. This practice cultivates self-discipline, encourages a shift in focus from worldly desires toward a state of piety and closeness to Allah (swt). The hadith narrated by Aisha (ra) demonstrates the Prophet's (pbuh) self-control, indicating that while desires are natural, Muslims aim to master them in pursuit of a higher spiritual ideal. This concept reinforces the overarching objective of Ramadan as a time to attain deeper levels of mindfulness (taqwa), ultimately bringing a person closer to their Creator. Furthermore, the hadith about fasting's reward reinforces the spiritual significance of avoiding actions that nullify the fast, which include intentional ejaculation. Thus, engaging in sexual intimacy during fasting hours directly compromises the essence of Ramadan. Notably, classical scholars agree that any intentional form of ejaculation breaks the fast and mandates restitution with additional days of fasting later. Exclusions from the fasting obligation, outlined in the Qur'an, apply equally to refraining from sexual activity. Those physically unable to fast or those traveling are temporarily exempt and should make up missed fasting days once the circumstances no longer apply. It's also vital to acknowledge that there are instances where refraining from sex entirely during Ramadan could adversely affect the marriage; communication and finding creative ways to express affection are encouraged even with restrictions in place. Misconceptions Let's dispel some common misconceptions around this topic: Misconception: All physical touch during Ramadan breaks the fast. Reality: Simple affectionate gestures like hugging, kissing, and caressing do not invalidate the fast unless they lead to intentional ejaculation. Misconception: Married couples should avoid all intimacy during Ramadan. Reality: Islam celebrates intimacy within marriage. Couples are encouraged to find other ways to connect physically and emotionally during the day in Ramadan, strengthening their bond while maintaining piety. Misconception: Any wet dream invalidates the fast. Reality: Wet dreams are involuntary acts during sleep and thus do not nullify the fast. Misconception: Only married couples need to follow fasting restrictions. Reality: Any individual who has reached puberty and is capable of complying must practice self-restraint during Ramadan fasting hours. Misconception: Sexually suggestive thoughts nullify the fast. Reality: While one should strive to remain pure-minded, fleeting thoughts that are not actively pursued do not break the fast. FAQs Can I masturbate while fasting during Ramadan? Masturbation results in intentional ejaculation, invalidating the fast according to some scholars and necessitating both making up the day and additional expiation. My spouse and I cannot fully control our desires even while fasting. What should we do? Open and honest communication is paramount. Consider alternative ways of expressing affection during the day and focus on deepening your spiritual connection as a couple. I had a wet dream and woke up in a state of ritual impurity. Is my fast broken? No, wet dreams are involuntary and don't render your fast invalid. Ritual purification (ghusl) is required before prayer. I accidentally ejaculated during the day in Ramadan. What are the consequences? Your fast is nullified. You must make up the day later and offer expiation as recommended by Islamic scholars. Are there any permanent exemptions from refraining from intimacy during fasting hours? Individuals with chronic illnesses or disabilities and those experiencing menstruation or postpartum bleeding are among those exempted from fasting requirements, which includes abstaining from sexual activity. Is oral sex permissible during fasting hours? No, oral sex or any act intentionally bringing about ejaculation will invalidate the fast. I engaged in sexual intercourse during fasting hours in Ramadan. What is the expiation? Along with making up the missed day, traditional scholarly rulings include freeing a slave, fasting two consecutive months, or feeding sixty poor people. Consult a reliable Islamic scholar for guidance in expiation according to your specific circumstances. Conclusion Islam provides a balanced and practical approach to navigating a complex topic like sex during Ramadan. The clear instructions prioritize spiritual growth and self-control during fasting hours, promoting self-mastery and a mindful focus on God. However, there's also an inherent recognition of the sanctity of marriage and a desire to promote healthy relationships within couples. By understanding the established limitations, along with the exceptions and exemptions, Muslim couples can make informed choices, strengthening their faith and enriching their bond. Ultimately, Ramadan offers a space for Muslims to explore the relationship between the physical and the spiritual. The act of restricting bodily desires becomes a path to gaining closer spiritual proximity to Allah (swt).