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in category Family, Gender and Sexuality

How do Muslims get married?

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In a Nutshell:

A Muslim marriage, known as Nikah, is a sacred contract between a man and a woman based on mutual consent, love and respect. It follows specific guidelines outlined in the Quran and Sunnah, emphasizing the importance of witness, a marriage contract and a dower (Mahr) from the groom to the bride.



Muslim Marriage:

Marriage in Islam is a revered social contract that establishes a lawful and blessed union between a man and a woman. This sacred bond is referred to as Nikah (نکاح) and is considered a foundation for building a strong and successful family life. Muslims around the world approach marriage with the intention of fulfilling religious obligations, establishing a loving household and raising righteous children. This guide explores the essential components of a Muslim marriage, drawing upon the rich tapestry of Quranic verses and Prophetic hadiths (sayings and practices).

And give to the women of their [marriage] dower as a requirement. But if they voluntarily give you anything of it, then consume it in satisfaction and fairness. (Quran 2:232)

And if you fear that you cannot be just with the orphans, then marry from whom you please, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one or those whom your right hands possess. That is more suitable that you will not be inclined to injustice. (Quran 4:3)

The Messenger of Allah (saw) said, 'The best of your possessions is your wife who pleases you and obeys you and who does not disobey you in regard to herself or her religion.' (Sahih Bukhari 6:111)

A woman is married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty and her religion. So choose the one who is most religious and you will prosper.' (Sahih Muslim 3:1422)

A woman may be married for four reasons: for her wealth, her lineage, her beauty and her religious commitment. Seek the one who is religiously committed, so may your hands be blessed. (Sunan an-Nasa'i 3208)

Imam Ibn Qudamah (ra) states in Al-Mughni:

Marriage is a contract that necessitates a proposal and acceptance.

The Muslim Marriage Process

The Islamic marriage process is a beautiful blend of religious and social elements. Here's a breakdown of the key steps:

Proposal and Acceptance (Ijab and Qabul):The marriage offer (Ijab) is made by or on behalf of the groom, followed by the bride's acceptance (Qabul). Both parties must express their consent freely and without coercion.

The Wali (Guardian): The bride's wali (guardian), typically her father or a close male relative, represents her during the Nikah ceremony and grants his permission for the marriage.

The Nikah Ceremony: The Nikah is a formal ceremony officiated by an Imam (religious leader) in the presence of Muslim witnesses. The marriage contract (written document outlining the Mahr and other conditions) is signed by the groom and the wali.

The Mahr (Dower): The Mahr is a mandatory gift from the groom to the bride, a symbol of respect and his commitment to providing for her. The amount is negotiable and should be fair and reasonable.

Misconceptions About Muslim Marriage: Forced Marriages:</strong> Islam forbids forced marriages. Consent from both the bride and groom is paramount, as The Prophet (pbuh) said:

A previously married woman should not be married off without her consent and a virgin should not be married off without her permission. (Sahih Bukhari 6:116)

Marriage as Oppressive: Islam grants women the right to refuse a proposal, own and inherit property, pursue education and seek divorce if necessary. It encourages a respectful partnership based on mutual love and mercy.

Marriage Prevents Individual Growth: Muslim marriages are meant to encourage spiritual and personal growth. The Quran describes spouses as a garment for each other, providing comfort and protection. (Quran 2:187)

Lack of Love: Islam fosters both romantic and compassionate love within marriage. The Prophet (pbuh) and his wife Khadija (ra) are prime examples of a loving and devoted couple in Islamic history.

Polygamy is the Norm: Polygamy is permitted under specific conditions and is not widespread. It is primarily meant to provide for orphans and widows; justice among all wives is a mandatory requirement.

Traditionally, the actual Islamic marriage ceremony termed nikah involves the bride and groom, an officiator and two witnesses.

The ceremony includes the marriage proposal and acceptance and the presenting of a gift called mahr by the groom to the bride. The girl needs to be "given away" by the head of her family, usually her father.

The wedding celebration after the ceremony varies widely from culture to culture, but always involves food, special clothing and some form of celebration. In some societies, there may also be several days of celebration leading up to the wedding.


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