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How do Muslims get married (aqd nikah)?

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In a Nutshell:

A Muslim marriage, known as Nikah, is a sacred contract between a man and a woman based on mutual consent, love and respect. It follows specific guidelines outlined in the Quran and Sunnah, emphasizing the importance of witness, a marriage contract and a dower (Mahr) from the groom to the bride.


Table of Contents:

  • In a Nutshell
  • Introduction
  • Evidences
  • Analysis of the Islamic Marriage Process
  • Misconceptions about Muslim Marriage
  • FAQs on Muslim Marriage

Introduction:

Marriage in Islam is a revered social contract that establishes a lawful and blessed union between a man and a woman. This sacred bond is referred to as Nikah and is considered a foundation for building a strong and successful family life. Muslims around the world approach marriage with the intention of fulfilling religious obligations, establishing a loving household and raising righteous children.

Evidences:

  • Quran 2:232: And give to the women of their [marriage] dower as a requirement. But if they voluntarily give you anything of it, then consume it in satisfaction and fairness.(This verse emphasizes the importance of Mahr, a mandatory gift from the groom to the bride.)
  • Quran 4:3: And if you fear that you cannot be just with the orphans, then marry from whom you please, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one or those whom your right hands possess. That is more suitable that you will not be inclined to injustice.(This verse highlights the importance of fairness and justice within marriage, allowing for polygamy only under specific conditions.)
  • Hadith (Sahih Bukhari 6:111): The Messenger of Allah (saw) said, 'The best of your possessions is your wife who pleases you and obeys you and who does not disobey you in regard to herself or her religion.'(This Hadith emphasizes the importance of compatibility, love and respect in a Muslim marriage.)
  • Hadith (Sahih Muslim 3:1422): A woman is married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty and her religion. So choose the one who is most religious and you will prosper.'(This Hadith emphasizes the importance of faith and religious commitment in choosing a spouse.)
  • Hadith (Sunan an-Nasa'i 3208): A woman may be married for four reasons: for her wealth, her lineage, her beauty and her religious commitment. Seek the one who is religiously committed, so may your hands be blessed.'(This Hadith reiterates the importance of religious piety in a Muslim marriage.)
  • [Scholarly Opinion 1]:Imam Ibn Qudamah (ra) states in Al-Mughni, Marriage is a contract that necessitates a proposal and acceptance.(This quote highlights the contractual nature of a Muslim marriage.)

Islamic Marriage Process:

The Islamic marriage process is a beautiful blend of religious and social elements. Here's a breakdown of the key steps:

  • Proposal and Acceptance (Ijab and Qabul): The marriage offer (Ijab) is made by or on behalf of the groom, followed by the bride's acceptance (Qabul). Both parties must express their consent freely and without coercion.
  • The Wali (Guardian): The bride's wali (guardian), typically her father or a close male relative, represents her during the Nikah ceremony and grants his permission for the marriage.
  • The Nikah Ceremony: The Nikah is a formal ceremony officiated by an Imam (religious leader) in the presence of Muslim witnesses. The marriage contract (written document outlining the Mahr and other conditions) is signed by the groom and the wali.
  • The Mahr (Dower): The Mahr is a mandatory gift from the groom to the bride, a symbol of respect and his commitment to providing for her. The amount is negotiable and should be fair and reasonable.

Misconceptions About Muslim Marriage

  • Forced Marriages:Islam forbids forced marriages. Consent from both the bride and groom is paramount, as The Prophet (pbuh) said, A previously married woman should not be married off without her consent and a virgin should not be married off without her permission.(Sahih Bukhari 6:116)
  • Marriage as Oppressive:Islam grants women the right to refuse a proposal, own and inherit property, pursue education and seek divorce if necessary. It encourages a respectful partnership based on mutual love and mercy.
  • Marriage Prevents Individual Growth:Muslim marriages are meant to encourage spiritual and personal growth. The Quran describes spouses as a garment for each other, providing comfort and protection. (Quran 2:187)
  • Lack of Romantic Love:Islam fosters both romantic and compassionate love within marriage. The The Prophet (pbuh) and his wife Khadija (ra) are prime examples of a loving and devoted couple in Islamic history.
  • Polygamy is the Norm:Polygamy is permitted under specific conditions and is not widespread. It is primarily meant to provide for orphans and widows; justice among all wives is a mandatory requirement.

Objections Addressed Regarding Muslim Marriage

  • Women Require a Wali: The wali does not control the bride; rather, he protects her rights and ensures she is treated fairly. The bride can ultimately choose her spouse.
  • The Mahr is a Price for the Bride: Mahr is a symbol of love, respect and a husband's commitment, not a purchase price. It directly belongs to the bride.
  • Restrictions on Interaction Before Marriage: Islam sets boundaries to prevent premarital relationships, preserving the sanctity of the marital bond. Couples can get to know each other in supervised settings.
  • Lack of Autonomy for Women: Women are active participants in marriage decisions. The wife's consent is essential and she can include stipulations in the marriage contract.

FAQs on Muslim Marriage

Can Muslims marry people of other faiths?
A Muslim man may marry women from the People of the Book (Christians and Jews), but a Muslim woman must marry a Muslim man.

What is the role of the Walima?
The Walima is a celebratory feast typically held after the Nikah ceremony. It serves as a public announcement of the marriage.

What if someane can't afford a lavish wedding?
Islam emphasizes simplicity. An extravagant wedding or dowry is not a requirement. A small Nikah ceremony suffices.

What is the Islamic stance on divorce?
Although allowed as a last resort, divorce is discouraged. Islam promotes reconciliation and mediation whenever possible.

What if I have other questions about Muslim marriage?
It is always best to consult with a reliable Islamic scholar for personalized guidance.

Conclusion

Marriage in Islam is a profound commitment and a means of drawing nearer to Allah (swt). It is a covenant built upon mutual respect, compassion and shared purpose as partners walking the path of life. The Quran and the life of The Prophet (pbuh) beautifully illustrate the sanctity and significance of marriage within the Islamic faith.


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