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in category Family, Gender and Sexuality

Is it acceptable for a Muslim wife to be jealous if her husband remarries (polygyny)?

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In a Nutshell: While emotions themselves are natural, the way that we exhibit them can be influenced by a variety of factors and can vary greatly from person to person and situation to situation. Islam governs this process, spelling out what emotions are important in what context. Understanding these factors and learning to regulate our emotional responses can help us all live a better Islamic life including being better Muslim husbands and wives.

Introduction

Emotions are a normal and natural part of being human. They are feelings that we experience in response to certain stimuli, such as joy, anger, fear, sadness, and so on. They are an innate part of our biology and play an important role in helping us navigate our social and personal relationships.

However, the way that we exhibit our emotions is not always natural. The expression of emotions can be shaped and influenced by a variety of factors, such as culture, upbringing, personal beliefs, and life experiences. For example, some cultures may place a greater emphasis on hiding emotions and maintaining emotional control, while others may encourage more open expression of emotions.

Moreover, the timing and intensity of our emotional responses can also be influenced by our own cognitive processes. For instance, we might suppress our emotions in public to avoid causing a scene or to maintain a professional demeanor. On the other hand, we might amplify our emotions in a moment of high stress or excitement.


Scholarly Opinion on Jealousy

Psychologists widely accept emotions are a fundamental aspect of the human experience. Emotions are physiological and psychological responses to stimuli that can range from positive (e.g., happiness, excitement) to negative (e.g., anger, fear). Research has shown emotions play a crucial role in regulating social behavior and decision making (Lerner & Keltner, 2000).

However, the way emotions are expressed is not always consistent or universal. Cultural norms, personal beliefs, and life experiences can shape the display of emotions (Matsumoto & Hwang, 2013). For example, studies have found that collectivistic cultures tend to emphasize emotional suppression in public settings, while individualistic cultures encourage more openness in emotional expression (Matsumoto & Hwang, 2013).

In addition, an individual's cognitive processes can also influence the expression of emotions. For instance, research has shown that people often regulate their emotional expressions in public settings in order to preserve a professional image or avoid causing a scene (Gross, 1998). On the other hand, people may amplify their emotional expressions in moments of high stress or excitement (Gross, 1998).


Conclusion

​​​​​​​While emotions themselves are natural, the way that we exhibit them can be influenced by a variety of factors and can vary greatly from person to person and situation to situation.

Islam governs this process, spelling out what emotions are important in what context.

Understanding these factors and learning to regulate our emotional responses in line with the shariah ahkam which is expected of all Muslims including Muslim wives.


References

Lerner, J. S., & Keltner, D. (2000). Beyond valence: Toward a model of emotion-specific influences on judgement and choice. Cognition & Emotion, 14(4), 473-493.

Matsumoto, D., & Hwang, H. S. (2013). Cultural differences in emotion expression: A review of psychological and physiological evidence. Asian Journal of Social Psychology, 16(3), 183-202.

Gross, J. J. (1998). The emerging field of emotion regulation: An integrative review. Review of General Psychology, 2(3), 271-299


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